***UPDATE***

Butters is getting better.. Today he crapped on the floor, but it was solid. No more Hershey squirts. And he's eating and drinking a ton...

That's one soul fixed....

The rebuilding continues....

We're going to the pumpkin patch within the next couple of days to get a pumpkin 2 or 3 times the size of the average for 20 bucks. We're starting our own traditions and loving it. Next is therapy Monday, and I'm tagging along and hopefully going to B.S. my way back there to be involved. Wish me luck.

That's it for now. Short and sweet, like Tatu from Fantasy Island.. "the plane boss, the plane!!" indeed.

BLUE OCTOBER

...From first glance, you may think I'm talking about the band, which I ensure you I'm not. Though they are quite a great band and this generations answer to The Cure in my book, this blog will entail the suckiness that has been this month.
First and foremost, the situation the occured with Rachel not a week or so ago. In order to NOT have voices screaming in my head, I am going to just bypass that subject.
Recently, the second layer of this hell known as October, my computer up and crashed. No real explanation for it, just decided to not work anymore. Going to try to reupload Windows XP soon, if I can get ahold of a disk.
But, worse than the computer, is the fact that our puppy Butters is sick. The vets say he might have Parvo. Might have Parvo?!?!? Straight answer would be awesome. It's either that or a REALLY bad case of indigestion brought on by an unruley amount of worms ("previous owners dewormed him" my ass....).
So, to sum up...

• Rachel okay.. for now. If the computer or Butters doesn't get fixed, it may push her back over the edge.
• Computer incompassitated. You don't know what you got til it's gone... again.
• Dog near death from dehydration. God, I hope the meds and shots the doc gave work.

Yes, it has been a blue october and I don't see it brightening up anytime soon.

RACE FAST SAFE CAR

So.. Rachel's episode last night has left her in the hospital.
It was a very emotional night that I have no intent on rehashing. I will say it involved these things:

• my mom saying the absolute wrong thing to her
• me having to bust out a screen window
• cops whipping out taser guns
• kitty round up

With that, I'm barely sleeping (at least a good hour last night) and barely eating (2 slices of honey butter toast this morning and a yogurt and Arby's just a bit ago before my stomach ate itself). Her recovery will be slow and we're in hopes of getting her meds sorted so crap like this doesn't happen again.

With that, my insomnia last night gave me ample time to look into stuff for the wedding. I realized a couple things through all of this:

1. Catering is expensive. Every fiber of my being is screaming B.Y.O.F. , or potluck if you will. Looking into some sandwich trays or party platters also.
2. I'm renting a tux. For Noah's wedding, I looked sharp for less than $50 and who's to say my kid won't be a midget and won't get to use the otherwise expensive as all get out tux I'd have to buy? Groomsmen will probably just be required long sleeve white shirt and black slacks.. Haven't thought about ties yet.
3. Invitations. Lots of options. Some fancy with bows and such, some withjust pop up art. I like the ones with our photo in the background and contact paper over it with all the info. Too many decisions and so far this is the one Rach and I tussle on. The catalogs are starting to look like macrame from all of the folding of pages to save them.

So, yes. Rach and I are still getting married. Episodes or not. Some people would run away from what last night could almost be described as a 'relationship killer', but I stuck by her side. She asked why I love her so many times that I finally caved and started listing stuff.

Starting with personality:

• her comedic timing is something of wonder. One straight face after a prolonged fart or calamity has me in stitches for hours.
• if she believes in it, she's passionate about it. If you're her friend, she's fiercely loyal (well, until you screw her over one too many times... But that's with anyone really).
• her eagerness to try new things. I systematically got her into wrestling until the other night she had to push me off of kissing her neck to say "hold on, I wanna see this match." My face lit up, hers recoiled in horror. Yet another comedic moment.

Next looks:

• the cutest nose on the planet. It's got a life all of it's own and I'm pretty sure she's part rabbit... er... from her nose twitching so much...
• The brown eyes that make me say "okay.." everytime. Considering current events, have to try to avoid that on occasion.
• Her hair. Soft. Usually multi-colored.

The list went on like crazy and by the end of it, I needed a drink really really bad. I hope she gets better, but I hope they won't drug her up to the point where I barely recognize her.

Another blog soon, in the meantime, play Pac Man at the bottom of the page.

Later!

EPILOGUE

Songs I don't completely hate right now (aka SECRET SHAMES EXPOSED)

• Pink's "So What" (video is hilarious and song is so catchy it's frightening..)
• Jordin Sparks "One Step at a Time" (thought it was Mariah when I first heard it. Good pop music...)
• Coldplay "Viva La Vida" (not even a secret shame, just had to give a shout out to a great great song...)

NEVER ODD OR EVEN

First, there was the Yahoo 360 blog. For a first time blogger, that's an ideal site: limited traffic and the ability to use it during my lunch breaks at work. After they blocked that site, I was forced to find other forms of ways to get my ideas of stories across. So, when vandalism and cults didn't work out, I broke down and joined the Myspace community. Unable to access on work computers but easy access from my phone, I became addicted and my battery (already low from a bouncing signal in the dead zone that is "my home") began to suffer. So, what to do?

I've read a few different blogs from this site and figured this is a good venue to get any frustrations or museings out and not have to worry about who it'll offend or annoy (like that bothered me in the first place..).

Truth be told, I'm addicted to just typing about random ass things and needed another place to do it before I got bored with it altogether.

**eyes veer to toolbar** Spell Check... Neat. (-:

So, anyhow, things have been weird as of late. Rach and I are about to celebrate our 1 year together and a couple of days ago was the one year mark until the wedding (October 10th, 2009 thus far...) and alot of the things we used to do we aren't doing as much anymore.

MIND OUTTA THE GUTTERS, PERVS!

I'm talking about putting together puzzles, playing board games, dancing to random ass songs.. And I know what you're probably thinking: "you are a guy, right? Why do those things intrest you?" I'm here to tell ya that deep down (not even deep down, more like 1st layer) I'm a romantic. I have the rolodex memory that most women have, sometimes putting Rachel to shame on little moments I remember down to every detail. We still occasionally have a nice candle lit dinner and dance when the mood is right, but lately it's few and far in between. It's not that we're falling out of love or anything. She's just got alot on her mind and is thouroughly just exhausted her brain kicking on hyperdrive. All of the bad things that can be floating around in her head (childhood memories and nightmares of "Asshole Jerry" who leaves her or kills her at the altar, WHOLE other can of worms there) have left her almost paralyzed and afraid to be alone. She's breaking down alot and it hurts me like hell to see it and hurts even worse to know that I can never really help. It's times like those that I remember those simpler times putting puzzles together at the dining room table listening to old Fastball and Yellowcard CDs looking over and breaking her concentration just to see her cock her head to the side and smile. She still does that on occasion, but it just leaves me wondering where her mind was beforehand.
We went to see her therapist today. Initially I was going to go back with her and sit in on the session, but circumstances left me in the ever so quiet lobby with my "Book Of Hall of Fame Heels" (wrestling book, not about shoes...). Her therapist is one of those "and how does that make you feel" type that aggrovates the shit out of her. Hell, it aggrovates me and I'm not the one that has to talk to her. How is she supposed to be any help if the only thing she's doing is either restating the obvious or asking that all-too-trite, question?
After that, we made our rounds to Wal-mart. If you ever need to go to that pit of despair, 9 a.m. is the perfect time. Not many people cluttering the aisles and plenty of people manning registers. We were outta ther in a jiff...

Well, I'm being beckoned to the other room by my lady. I'll go ahead and end this here, though I see it has a nice little save feature so that I can pick it up later, but by then my train of thought will be gone so...